As many of you know, our oldest daughter, Kali, has owned a horse for 6 years. She's had a few through the years, but with that aside, she has had horses as the focal point of her life for 6 years. She talks about horses, wants to ride every horse she can, she loves her cowboy boots and her camo jacket. She has decorated her brand new bedroom in a western theme! She has horse shoes and a barn wood mirror, and her dresser and nightstand are made from beautiful, distressed wood that a true horse-lovin country girl looks at with love! Kali's life leaves a lot of clues about what she loves the most: HORSES.
Kali lives her life in such a way that a perfect stranger could identify her life focus. That's pretty impressive. However, for all the visual horse equipment on display there was no fire burning inside. She had all the outward signs, but inside it has been empty for awhile. Because of all the "gear" she has, only those closest to her would even know that the passion was dwindling down.
As parents, sometimes we forget that our role isn't just laundry, chuaffeuring and discipline. We're mentors to our children as well. We are our child's leader.
As Kali's leaders, we identified our daughter had lost her way, and it was time for her to have an office visit with Dad. Last Wednesday Kali and I sat in Dad's office for some mentoring. (It's so cool that what we do applies to our entire lives!)
We talked and listened and she talked, cried, expressed frustration and confusion and for an hour and a half we worked her through what the real challenge was: No focus. She had too many goals! She had no vision of which direction she wanted to go. She was immersed in the midst of her love and her passion and was absolutely lost and therefore, she was going nowhere.
So Marc left her with three tasks to complete:
1. Narrow her focus and choose which direction truly was her passion.
2. Decide if she was willing to do the work.
3. Set goals.
The next morning we left for the LifeTeam Leadership Convention and left her time to sort through her own thoughts.
Four days passed, and Kali had listened to her Dad and done the hardest work: The thinking work.
Last night, Marc and I were heading home and I received an excited call from Kali. "Mom, I have to ride tomorrow!" she said. "So, I'm thinking 8:30am."
8:30 am??? Tomorrow? 8:30? hmmmmmm. "Ok", I said. But what I was really thinking is, "What happened to my daughter?"
Kali is awesome, and has many tremendous qualities, but getting out of bed in the morning isn't on that list! Kali equates the need for sleep with the need for oxygen! And she does NOT like getting up in the morning. So, to be honest, I thought, we'll see about this. Besides, she told ME to wake her up so we could go.
I set my alarm for 7:30am. The alarm went off, I checked the weather and saw it was 3 degrees and happily turned off my alarm. Kali doesn't ride went it's 23 degrees, there is NO way she's getting up this early and going outside when it's 3 degrees outside!!!!!!!!!! Awesome. My pillow felt great this morning, and I was happy to stay under the covers.
I was wrong. 1 hour later, my daughter stood next to my bed, fully dressed with a smile on her face saying, "Mom!" It's time to go! Get ready!"
I told her it was only 3 degrees thinking that would stop her. It didn't. She said, "So, I still want to go, and you said you'd take me."
I got out of bed and drove her to the barn. It was strange at first. My daughter, who is normally less than happy in the morning was talking my ear off telling me all kinds of stories asking me questions, smiling from ear to ear. She was so happy to be going to the barn!
When we arrived, she and her horse had so much fun. They were literally playing follow the leader in the arena! Running and playing and equally enjoying the fun they were having! (It's 3 degrees out remember!) She was laughing and smiling and fully alive! I had fun just watching them. Her utter joy-filled passion made me feel the same way!
The drive home was the same. She laughed and asked me questions and talked and smiled. She never once complained it was cold, though her cheeks were bright red from being out in the cold. She never once said anything about cold hands or feet. She had zero complaints and only smiles and joy!
What happened to my daughter? What changed so drastically and quickly? What relit the fire for her passion?
FOCUS. VISION. GOALS.
That's it. My daughter, through her mentor/father, was able to clear the fog and re-find her way! That's ALL she did. She got a focus, a vision of where she was going and she set some goals to get there.
Think about that. She had EVERYTHING she needed to be considered a true, camo-colored cowgirl! She had all the tools. She had all the right words. She had the skills and talent. She had the love for the sport. And she had no passion UNITL she got a focus, a vision and set some goals!
So, what about you? Do you have everything you need to play the game of LIFE and none of the passion? It could be that you're like Kali, and you've just lost your way a bit. It might be time for you to confront the brutal reality and realize, you can have everything and be going no where if you don't have a game plan to get there!
Don't let another passion-less day go by! Get FOCUSED! Get a VISION of where you are going! Set GOALS and make a game plan to get there! And relight your passion!
It's time to live the LIFE you've always wanted, and there is no better time than now to start!